Chapter 39: The call

Chapter 39: The call (Wattpad)

Part I: 

He drove away like the hounds of hell itself were after us. His tensed muscles only relaxed when we were completely away from the goddamned place – the landscapes outside were now different from earlier even in the dark night. I looked at the clock on the dashboard. 6:30pm.

I heard him stop the engine right in the middle of the road. And before I could even react, he turned to me and reached out his hand I violently shook it off with my shoulder, no looking at him. 

“Don’t touch me.”

“I need to uncuff you – ”

“Why don’t you just start acting like a real kidnapper this time?”

“I – I won’t do that. You don’t have to be – ”

“Just shut the fuck up and do what you’re supposed to do.”

He sighed and I sensed that he wanted to say more but nonetheless, he started the engine again and started driving. I twisted my wrists, trying to stretch them through the cuffs. Even Dash seemed to notice that something’s wrong.

I shook my head. I didn’t even know who I really am these past 17 years. Seventeen years. All these things I’ve been doing had been false, fake, a façade. A lie. My eyebrows pinched together and tears gathered in my eyes. Sky looked at me, his eyes tortured.

“Ryne, I – ”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

His voice choked as he answered back, “I was afraid that you’d hate me and – ”

“And you kept that from me?”

He spun the car and positioned it haphazardly, parking it in a hurry and he didn’t make the trouble of turning off the engine this time.

“What did you expect me to do? If you were in my position – ”

“I would fucking tell the truth the second I’ve handcuffed you – ”

“You weren’t supposed to know!”

“But not doing it later? After all these days that you – ”

“It wasn’t easy!”

“I never said anything about it being easy! If only you told me, it would save us a lot of lies and misery and – ”

“I fell in love with you before I could do anything, okay?”

He pounded the steering wheel in frustration, his tendons exposing. “And by then I just knew this would happen; you hating me – ”

“What do you want me to feel?” I raged at him, finally facing him and looking at his torn and tortured features. “Do you want me to be happy because this happened?”

He tore his hair out, breathing in and said right back, “I want you to understand!”

“I understand completely – ”

“No, you don’t! You have no idea what I’ve been going through! After Sam was killed – ”

“That’s what you always say! Sam! Even when you’re sleeping, you just have to – ”

“I’m trying to explain to you! Why don’t – ”

“And then you tell me that you love me? You see her, not me – ”

“You’re the only one I see!”

“No! You – you don’t – ” I paused, catching my breath. “I don’t know what to do, okay? I don’t even know what to feel. So please, just – ” I sighed, my voice shaking. “Just leave me along right now.”

He breathed in and looked away. He didn’t say yes, he didn’t nod, but he stayed silent, granting my wish in an instant. Then he relaxed his head, “Let’s just find a place to stay for the night.” And he slowly started driving again, seeming not in a hurry. I stared blankly on the outside view. 

I want out.


           Wednesday, 7am

I had no idea when I started falling asleep inside the car. But now I started blinking my eyes open and breathed in. The air felt different. And for some reason I found myself lying on a bed. With different clothes on. I sighed a little, not bothering anymore and slowly getting used to it. Aside from that, I now had bandages on my body and some Band-Aids on me, as well. I found and put on my glasses automatically and scanned the area. There was no sofa.

He was there. In a sitting position with his back on the wall. He also had bandages on him and a Band-Aid on the cut below his lower lip. And he was deeply in sleep. I looked at him and bit my lip.

What am I supposed to do?

Now that the events of last night had come and gone, I gave the gist of it to register in my brain in a more welcoming manner.

So my mother is Danae.

Not Leia.

I’m quite surprised, but I actually wondered what she looked like. And I had the feeling that somehow, it was from her where I got my chocolate brown eyes. I just…know. 

And my father id Ryan. Ryan Cavanagh. Our names are so much alike. I remember on my childhood days, when my classmates teased me because of my almost-male name. But the fact that it’s a combination of Danae and Ryan gave me a different feeling.

I just haven’t figured out what feeling that is yet.

My heart throbbed as I remembered the parents I’ve grown up with. They’re the ones who really formed me and nothing, nothing, can ever take that back. But when my mind wandered back to the names from yesterday who seemed to be in my generation – Alexa, Colleen, Mark and Trisha – I felt slightly apprehensive. What do they look like? Do they act like me? My lips were pursed as I thought of Mark. I’ve always wanted a big brother. And Trisha.

She died.

It would’ve been wonderful to have a little sibling – I’ve never experienced having one in my life.

I was stirred from my daydreaming when out of the corner of my eye, Sky started waking up. He rubbed his sleep-filled eyes and stretched himself awake, eyes landing one me instantly. He didn’t say anything, he just stood up. Then he said without coming near me, “I didn’t think you’d like it if I slept…yeah.” He bit his lip and continued speaking, “There’s already everything if you need it. If you don’t want to ask me, just look for it.”

He didn’t wait for my reply but started walking towards the door and shutting the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I sighed and dropped back to the bed. This feeling of entrapment is killing me.

I got out of the bed and stepped lightly on my feet, glancing around to find the bags. It was a slight shock when I saw the old, tattered ones at the floor at the foot of the bed. I walked briskly towards it and zipped it open, expecting the old set of things I always bring with me when we transfer hotels.

The first items that greeted me as my backpack was opened, was the snow globe. Surprisingly, the beautiful castle was still intact in the middle of the globe and the snow was still flowing up and down. And then there was the four-lettered name in sky blue writing.

I’m such a whiny drama queen.

I squat on the floor, almost laughing to myself. Laughing at your worst problems is easier than mourning about them. I shook the globe and watched as the snow fluffed around the castle. In some ways, it’s better being inside that miniature kingdom.

The bedroom door suddenly opened and there was Sky, standing a few steps away from me, fully-clothed,

Where was he going?

He walked towards me and held out a folder. “I have a copy of everything from the briefcase.” I took it from him as he continued speaking. “You can take a look at it – you might want to before I take you to them.”

Wait. “You’re taking me to them? Like, today?” He shook his head in response. “No. But within these three days, I will.” I stood up and asked him hesitantly, “Where are you going?” his voice was steady as he answered, “He might want to replace me for someone else.” 

Replace?

“What do you mean ‘replace’?” I asked in an almost demanding voice. He shrugged lifelessly. “Replace – substitute.” What? “Why?”

Then his green eyes were fixed on me instantly. “You know why. I told you in the first place.” I blinked, puzzled. He did? My eyebrows drew in confusion, so he elaborated. “That day after what happened in the car.” My eyes widened in realization, then I had a flashback –

We were sitting on the sofa during the blackout.

“You don’t understand.” He said, shaking his head slightly. “And by the way,” he looked up into my eyes. “Mr. Mafia told me not to fall in love you.” He smiled gently. “But to hell with it.”

I came back to the present as he asked me, “You remember, don’t you?” 

I nodded soundlessly. “And that one day, too. When you said you’d prefer your head being attached to your neck?” 

“That was a figure of speech, but yes. He did mean that.” No. He can’t mean that. “So you’re going now?” he raised an eyebrow at the question, “Do you want me to?”

“No – no, I just – ” I responded hastily but I was stopped by the look on his eyes. It was a look of total surrender. I was just about to ask him what it is when he spoke up. “After you read the file, you can call him if you want. Your grandfather.” 

“I can call him?” I asked in a disbelieving voice, my mouth almost gaping open. Sky smiled slightly in endearment. “Yes, you can.” he answered, still smiling. “Just tell me, I’ll be outside if you want to stay here – ”

“Stay here? I – ”

“Yes?”

I stared at those emeralds, which were both hoping and dreading for an answer and I almost stepped forward, but I held my ground. I answered, “Yes, I’ll just stay.”

He nodded once and walked out of the door for the second time.


           Part II:

Do you know that awkward moment when you feel like someone has been viewing your life since you were fucking born? When they know every single thing about you that you even forgot yourself. 

I feel like it when I read the file, now after taking a quick bath and with Dash dozing outside, leaving me alone with my thoughts. They know every detail of my life! They even know how many moles I have on my head and, oh right. My head is completely covered by my hair, so I have no idea how many there are.

It says here five. Like, how the fuck did they know that?

And the other pages contain my childhood years – actually, it’s one page per year and there were pictures. That’s the worst part. And they even know what my favourite things are.

And that’s just intrusive.

This is ridiculous. They have got to be kidding me.

There are even names of my friends – and the fake ones, too – and I was surprised to find out that Carsh had one page, complete with a picture of him and the details, as well. The Terminator had a page dedicated to her, too. Now the Terminator, I know almost everything there is to know about her. My eyes were drawn to the image of Carsh. As I read his page, my fingers skimmed downwards and then I read the last information. 

With Mia Lorette. 

I scowled as I read it twice. I can’t believe he just found another one like I was nothing. If he really loved me, he wouldn’t do that, right? If I really meant something to him, he wouldn’t just run off to find another one, wouldn’t he? His angelic face was staring back at me in the photo, his clear blue eyes smiling. I remembered once when I first saw him eye to eye, I fell or that azure colour. But when he talked to me, we just clicked.

Where’s the fucking click now?

I threw away the paper in frustration. If I held it for one more second, I might actually crumple it. And right then, I remembered that Sky gave a picture of Carsh three days ago. I sighed, annoyed.

I’ll get rid of it later.

After I finished reading every single thing about me to date, I flipped the page and when I did, I was surprised to find out a woman’s face on the next page. She has elegant features like royalty. And her eyes. She has chocolate brown eyes.

My mother.

I sat up straighter. Name – Danae. And her nickname is Dani. I smiled a little bit and proceeded reading. She loved books, too. And on the picture, she has black hair. So that means I must’ve got my hair colour from my father. She engages in sports, too. That’s the only thing we haven’t got in common, I think. Everything else I’ve inherited from her. Except the looks, of course – she’s much too beautiful. Even better than Xavia. And I didn’t get my temper from her either.

She has a horrible temper. From what I gathered from reading about her, her husband Ryan seemed to take the blunt of her fury on a bad day. But surprisingly, he handled it well. I bet he was the only one who can calm him down. Why else would they marry?

Feeling energized, I turned to the next. Oh, God. It’s like I’m looking at the male version of me. He’s a lot older than 17, but all the same. Wow.

Ryan Cavanagh.

So this is my dad. I was practically cloned from him. But the similarities stopped right there. In personality, he is nothing like me. He is outgoing, always jolly, active in sports and stranger-friendly. A complete smile is now on my face as I turned another page. Mark Cavanagh. He is attractive in a strange way. There’s something about his face that just draws people. Then I scanned the information and found the perfect word.

Charisma.

My older brother is a charismatic guy who draws women effortlessly. That’s just what I summed up from the article. Then a sudden chord struck me. Struck me hard. I remembered Xavia and her reaction on that day in the car when she and Imah went away.

So this is the guy Xavia had a thing with. God help them.

And then there was Trisha. In the image, she’s just about 5 years old. I skipped the other brief details about her and read the one I’m looking for.

Death – 2nd of March (classified year)

Then I read the cause. They’ve been ambushed in their vacation house. Mark being the eldest one had to take care of the family business and was not included in the murder.

And then there’s me.

In a weird way, I feel like I fit in.

I heard a knock on the door and Sky poked his head in, he’s on the phone and he seemed distracted. I instinctively got off the bed and shot him a quizzical look as he walked towards me, speaking to the person on the other line.

“Yes, sir. Here she is.”

Sky handed me his cellular phone – a different one – and as I held out my hand to put it in my ear, he mouthed, your grandfather.

My eyes widened almost instantly and my heart rate increased considerably. I put the phone on my ear, hearing the sounds from the other location. I held my breath, keeping my head together. I said hesitantly, “Hello?”

“Ryne?”

The second I heard his voice, something clicked. I responded, still unsure. “Yes, it’s me. Uhm, Grandpa?”

I heard his hearty chuckle and even Sky smiled. “Yes, you can call me that. So how are you, my dear?” as he talked to me, Sky put his hands on my shoulders and steered me towards the bed, both of us sitting down.

“I’m fine.”

“How’s La Brea treating you?” I looked at the person in question. “We get along well, actually.”

“Too well, I fear.” I barely took to notice that his accent is a strange mix of American and Russian as we talked about Sky. Speaking of, Sky arched an eyebrow as the both of us continued speaking. “Uhm, it’s really very complicated to talk about that right now. We – ” 

“I told him not to tell you. I’m sorry for that, my child. You must understand that I had to do everything in my power to keep you safe.” 

“I understand.”

“So you know everything?” For some reason, his voice didn’t sound annoyed or irritated. He even sounded welcoming, open-minded. “Yes. Sky let me read the file.” I could tell that he knew I would find out.

“I knew this would happen at one point. Nothing but the truth comes out, eh?” I laughed lightly. “Yes. I suppose.”

“I take it that you’ve read about your parent and siblings already?”

“And myself, yes.” He laughed at my response. “You’ve got my son’s sense of humour. Well, that’s a relief.” he paused talking and I heard muffled voices at the other end of the line, then he spoke to me again. “Ryne, my dear, I’m a little tied up here. I’ll call you later again and we’ll do a hell of a catching up, okay?” I hesitated before answering back – there is something I really want to ask from him. More like a favour. “Uhm, Grandpa? If it’s not much to ask, can I have a favour?”

“Anything at all! Go ahead, darling. You can abuse me around for all the 17 years of my absence.” I laughed nervously. You’re the granddaughter of a Mafia king, Ryne. You can do this, you’re awesome. 

“Can – can Sky stay?”

Sky looked like he’d been electrocuted and the person on the other line paused in surprise. “I’m sorry?”

“Can he stay?”

There was another pause, shorter this time.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea – ”

“Please?” I begged shamelessly, looking into Sky’s eyes as he held my hand and he kissed it, his gaze never leaving mine and the shell-shocked look still on his face. 

“Ryne, my dear, I’m going to ask you a question and I want to answer honestly.” I bit my lip. “I think I know what it is, but it’s better if you say it word by word.” I added hastily, “I think.”

“Do you love him?”

I gave a strangled laugh as I looked at his face.

            “I do.”

Chapter 38: Second time

Chapter 38: Second time (Wattpad)

They say the truth sets you free.

But they’re wrong.

So wrong.

Ice clapped her hands once. “Now, I think everyone’s on the same page. So what do we do with the both of you now?”

I stayed silent. I don’t want to think. I don’t even know what to think. My lungs seem to be suffocating as I stared at nothing trying to set my mind straight. I just want to get away from here. I have to. Tears were still unconsciously falling from my eyes. I refused to look at Sky. I just want to open my eyes and out that everything was just a dream. I’d do anything for that to happen.

Ice continued speaking. “I really want to kill La Brea right now. You’ve caused enough trouble, and not to mention that you look like you don’t care if you live or die.” He didn’t respond, hollowed eyes staring right past her. “Brighten up, Sky! You don’t have to carry the burden anymore! I can’t imagine how painful that must be for you but frankly, I don’t see why you’re so affected by it.

No response.

“I’ll just have a monologue then. Fine. Considering you only have a few more minutes to live, you should at least spill everything you know – the location, Sky. I still need it.” She sighed when Sky said nothing. “I’m losing my patience here. It could be cleaner if you just tell me – you’ll die either way, so no pressure. I obviously can’t kill Ryne; she’s too valuable – ”

“Go to hell.” Sky suddenly stirred to life a little. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

Ice smiled. “Wrong move.” Then she strode over to me, pulling me by the hair. I struggled to no avail and then she stood still. “Do you know how much bullets a human body can take without dying? It’s a surprising number actually – ”

“No – ”

She pressed the wounds on my wrists and I felt excruciating pain. I heard Sky say as I howled in pain. “Stop it! Hurt me, not her – ”

 “Just tell me where they are and you don’t – ” she never finished the sentence as the warehouse metal doors shot open and bullets were everywhere. Everything was a blur. I felt Ice’s body jerk behind me and she let go, almost felling to the ground from the stomach shot she had. She immediately poised her gun as chaos erupted when her men joined the fray. But she didn’t point it at me.

Sky.

My feet was carrying me to her direction and right before she pulled the trigger, I ran straight towards her and her aim was thrown off, the bullet hitting one of her men.

“Bitch! You – ”

A bullet whizzed past my ear and it hit her straight in the chest and she fell abruptly to the ground, like a marionette with its strings cut off. I can’t breathe and my body was still aching and all I saw was the gun in her dead hand and the next thing I remember was grabbing it. I stood up and took cover behind the pile of sacks.

Who should I get away from?

I clicked the gun in my hand and raised it to aim but I felt a hand covering my mouth. I kicked and struggled and I blindly aimed my gun behind my head and without thinking, I pulled the trigger.

His limp arms fell to his sides and he crumpled to the floor, dead. One of Ice’s people. I stepped over the body and backed away from the scene unfolding in front of me – an open almost-war image and total disarray. I whipped my head around and started running away, further inside the warehouse where hopefully, there are no people waiting for me. I passed through numerous building materials and construction necessities. And then suddenly, there were two string arms holding my upper arms.

Two familiar hands.

“Let go of me!”

“I need to protect you – ”

“I’ve had enough of your protecting, Sky. Just – ” he cuffed my wrists and I screamed in frustration. “Xav and the others are taking care of it, we need to go – ”

“I hate you all! And we’re not going anywhere – ” then he covered my mouth with a handkerchief in his hand and started dragging me away. Fuck this! I tried to hold on to something with my feet but in vain. This is the second time I’ve been kidnapped by this person and I don’t want it.

Sky accidentally pressed my wounds and I shrieked painfully, muffled by the cloth on my mouth.

“Oh, God.” Abruptly, he released the hindrance to my mouth and pushed me behind a pile of crates, stacked high and wide enough not to be seen by anyone watching. Gunshots and grenade explosions can still be heard from here, shaking the ground slightly.

“Uncuff me – ”

“Stay still and don’t move.” he pressed my front torso against the boxes and I heard him tearing off a piece of cloth from his shirt and he started bandaging my wounds. I violently moved my shoulders. “I don’t need your fucking help – ”

“Your wrists – ”

“Get away from me!”

He fell silent after that, slightly pausing the bandaging but quickly resumed doing so, without any sound or indication that something happened. I exhaled slowly. This is hopeless.

Once the bleeding was stopped and my wound was temporarily secure, he pushed me forward once again, pulling his gun out and perusing the nearby surroundings before stepping further. I pursed my lips and didn’t even bother to speak. I was afraid I’d start crying when I do and that can’t happen.

In no time, we were already outside, just as the sun was setting. Sky led me to a Porsche but I stopped in my tracks halfway. I called out, “Dash?” 

Barking instantly sounded from behind the car and I sped towards it, almost dragging Sky. Then there he was, tied to the rear view mirror, unharmed. Without words being said, Sky immediately freed Dash and opened the backseat and ushered my dog in, never letting go of his grip on me. Then he faced me and opened the shotgun seat.

“In.” he said emotionlessly.

When I did not move a muscle, he pushed me into the seat and didn’t even bother to uncuff my wrists, As he closed the door, I breathed in hard, closing my eyes. I put my knees up to myself and I lay with my head there, hands still bound on my back. I hate this.

After a few seconds, he opened the other side of the car and settled in, starting the engine in an instant. He didn’t speak.

            And I can’t see any point in saying something as well.

Chapter 36: A shot in the dark

Chapter 36: A shot in the dark (Wattpad)

We spent the rest of the night together, absorbed in each other. We played a horror movie – complete with popcorn and with the lights shut off. It was the best night of my life, and probably afterlife. After a while though, we lost interest in the film and we fooled around like little kids. It was absolutely about nonsensical things and I love it.

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” I giggled. We were sprawled on the carpet by this time, him lying on his back and I was supporting my upper body with my elbows, almost facedown. We were just down playing tag – yes, tag – and I’m bloody exhausted. He looked up to me, eyes sparkling. 

“And do you know what happened after that?” he said as his hands tickled the sensitive spot on my neck. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe. “I don’t want to know!” I laughed still

.

He laughed along with me and sat up. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up with him. “Do you know it’s already 2am?” he smiled at me and I smiled back. I said, “Oh really? Well, that’s just shocking.” I laughingly answered. 

Then sudden inspiration lighted up his eyes. I knew that look instantly. Before he could open his mouth, I interrupted him, “Yes, what are you planning?”

He laughed and pulled me closer. “Have you ever danced?” he said then continued, “If I recall correctly, I haven’t danced with you yet.” What? I gaped at him as if I’d never heard that word before. I don’t dance! How does he expect me to? Uhhm, Sky?I kind of have an aversion to dancing because on third grade, I kind of…” He grasped y hands as he laughed. “Let me guess, you punched someone?”

I pushed him and he laughed harder. “I did not. I sort of shouted at him a bit – ”

“Shouted a bit. Of course.”

I glared at him but he kissed my cheek so – plan at annoyance failed. I ended up with my arms around his waist and his arms around me. I feel so safe.

“The guy was asking for it. He said I couldn’t dance to save my life, so yeah…” He chuckled. “So you err, how do you say that – oh. So you trash talked him? That’s incredibly heroic.” He kissed my forehead and continued speaking, “So, will you dance with me?”

“What kind of dancing, exactly?”

He winked and turned to the DVD player, paying no attention to the screaming woman on the screen from the horror movie and he set the function to “radio.”

Melodic music played through the speakers, softly filling the room with sounds. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I protested, half-laughing. He just hummed along to the song and held my right hand. His other hand held my back. I laughed aloud. This is just crazy. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he slowly twirled us side to side. 

“I won’t give up on us

Even if the skies get rough…”

I put my head against his chest and tried to calm my conflicted emotions bubbling inside me. Of all the people to fall into this situation, I came along. I listened to his humming and found myself falling harder. He suddenly said, 

“I never knew I could be so romantic.”

I chuckled softly. Me neither. I smiled up to him and he slowly leaned in. But then the chandelier behind us flickered, and the music stuttered.

Like a mini-second brownout.

I turned to him, eyebrows raised. “Did you feel that?” he smiled like it was nothing and just nodded yes. And then the lights shut down completely and the music died.

Yes. Brownout.

It was absolute darkness and I can still feel Sky and I held him tighter. “At least we had our warning.” I heard him sigh. “Well, this is just perfect. Maybe we – ” the telephone rang from across the room and I jumped, startled. Who in the world would call at this time, anyway? I heard Sky say to me, “That must be the hotel manager or something – ”

“Maybe they want your number – ” 

“Maybe they’re checking on their people because of the brownout.” he kissed my hands and let me towards the ringing phone. He picked it up. 

“Yes?”

I heard a muffled voice from the other line. A male voice. I shrugged it off. At least no clingy females. 

“Yes, me and my sister are fine. Thanks for the trouble, sir.” There was a short pause and then, “Bye. Thank you again.” Then I heard him put the phone back down and he faced me. Well, sort of. It’s bloody dark! 

I said, “Maybe it’s our cue to go to sleep.”

“As much as I want to, I probably can’t.” then in the darkness, I saw a distinct white. He was smiling. I laughed, “Even in the dark, you smile just the same.” I felt him hug me right then and he responded, “Likewise.”

I can’t seem to stop the grin on my face. I’ve never been this happy before. If truth be told, I could stay here forever, but after a while, he said, “Shall I carry you to the bedroom, my princess?”

I laughed. “I can manage, but I’ll probably fall on my own feet.” When I said that, he pulled away from the hug and turned me around by the shoulders, guiding me through the living room. I said, “What if I bump into something or – ”

“If that happens,” he laughing answered, “you can get the baptized handcuffs and hold me prisoner.” I stopped in my tracks. Wow. “Really?”

“Figuratively, I’m already your prisoner, but yes.”

I laughed again. “I guess I should bump myself intentionally, then.” he gripped my upper arms from behind and started raining kisses on me. I can’t stop giggling and I relaxed completely into his body frame. Then he said, “Forget about the bumping issue. Let’s just go to the bedroom and – ” he never finished the sentence because I gave him a quick kiss and ran away from him. 

And I bumped myself on the low table. 

“Ow! That hurt!”

 

“My love, you must never run away from me.” Then his arms snaked around my waist from behind, putting his chin on my shoulder. I groaned. “That really hurt.” He kissed the area behind my ear right then and guided me to the sofa, pushing me gently to sit. 

“Stay here.”

“Where are you going?”

He caressed my hand before letting them go. I heard his footsteps. “I’m just going to find light.” I tapped my feet impatiently as I heard him rummaging through the drawer. Five seconds later, I heard the striking of a match and the room filled with an orange light from a fore in Sky’s direction. 

“Candles?”

He grinned in satisfaction. “It’s just a brain blast.” He lit seven of them and started to scatter them around the living room. I stood up to help him and once we’re all set, we sat back on the couch.

Sky put an arm around me. He said, “I want to make sure Ryne, that you know that this isn’t just a shot in the dark. I’m serious.”

I pursed my lips. “I know.” I replied, voice hushed. He continued speaking, “Do you – ”

“Can we talk about something else? I interrupted, looking at the flickering flame of the candle on top of the low table. If I’m being honest with myself, talking about the future scares me. It’s easier to think about things within this hotel room, closed off from the outside world.

“Just this once, Ryne. Please.” He said. I sighed and closed my eyes shut. “Go on.”

“Remember that time when I told you that you’d hate me?” my eyes flashed open and I bit my lip. This is fucking messed up. “Do we really have to go into that?”

He paused before replying. “I have to. You’ll really hate me, and I’m just scared if you find out and…” 

“Find out what?”

He sighed from the very depths of his soul and replied, “That’s the problem. You can’t know. But you will sooner or later and I don’t want you distancing yourself away from me because I…I…”

I sighed. It is fucking messed up. “Why don’t you just tell me now?” I faced him and gripped his hands. “You’re worrying me.”

He smiled sadly – bitterly. “If I tell you, you’ll hate me even more.” My eyebrows drew together and I shifted closer to him. “I promise I won’t hate you. I promise. How could I?”

“You don’t understand.” He said, shaking his head slightly. “And by the way,” he looked up into my eyes. “Mr. Mafia told me not to fall in love you.” He smiled gently. “But to hell with it.” He came closer to me and kissed me once again. I kissed him back and felt myself smiling.

             But then next day happened.

Chapter 35: The proper way

Chapter 35: The proper way (Wattpad)

Part I: 

The way back was quiet and peaceful. I drew my knees to my chest and put my arms around myself, back on the passenger seat. The engine was rumbling beneath us and the hard rain from later turned to a slight drizzle.

If only we had met under different situations. Completely different ones. But I paused in my thinking. If we had met under different circumstances, I probably wouldn’t know him like I do now. I don’t know if I should be glad about knowing that. I felt Sky’s gaze turn to me again while he was driving and I looked out of the car window.

“If you don’t quit looking at me, we’ll never see sunlight ever again. Ever hear the word ‘accident’ before?” He just chuckled and faced the bare road again. “There are no cars around. No traffic.”

“The road is wet, Mr. La Brea.”

He rolled his eyes at what I said. Such a prick. He responded “We’re almost at the main road, closer to the hotel. You better get ready.” I just nodded and grabbed my bags, shouldering one of the slings and tying Dash with my other hand. Then out of the blue, he asked, his tone serious – 

“Have you ever thought of Britain?”

Whoa. Where did that come from? I faced him, saw that he was still paying attention to the road and then I replied, “Sometimes. Why?”

He never took his eyes off the road as he said, “I’d like to take you there someday.” 

My heart melted at those words. I just smiled and didn’t bother replying – nothing can do justice to what he just said. For the duration of the way back to the hotel, I watched the landscapes turn into commercialized buildings and the increasing population of cars on the road. I thought of Britain. There was the Tower Bridge. The London Eye. The wonderful beaches. The royal palaces. The might castles, the massive cathedrals. The Big Ben. Me and Sky in Britain? 

In spite of the impossibility of it, I smiled at the picture it conjured up.

That would be life-changing.


           15 minutes later

The elevator dinged open and we stepped out with three other people. My whole body ached and my shoulders. They’re killing me. I almost groaned as Sky punched in the numbers on the hidden monitor and finally, we stepped in the room. I released Dash flopped down immediately to the sofa. This day had been extremely heavy.

Sky sorted out the baggage after closing and locking the door. Does he ever get tired? I lay properly on the sofa, but keeping my shoes off the mattress and I heard him make his way to me. He removed the backpack from my shoulders and next, he took off my shoes. I yawned then said to him, “That’s the kind of thing my mom would do.” He smiled and I put both of my feet on the sofa, incredibly relaxed in a while. He replied, “What? Fall for you?”

I pursed my lips to keep from smiling. “No. Treat me like a child, it you know what I mean.” He removed his own shoes and sat in front of me on the floor, our eyes on level and I pushed the sleeves of the polo all the way to my elbows. He told me, 

“I actually want to do something. But I don’t know whether you like it or not, so I’ll just ask your permission.”

My eyebrows drew together. This is a dangerous ground. What is he talking about? He continued saying, “I want to have you. The proper way.”

Oh my God.

“You mean – ”

“Courting you? Yes, most definitely.” 

I stared at him, looking for signs that he was joking.

He wasn’t.

I sat up, still looking at him. “Why would – you said that you don’t – ”

“That’s why I’m asking for your permission.” he said, licking his lips and he raised his eyebrows. “Please?”

My jaw fell to the ground. This is crazy. Absolutely crazy. I didn’t want this. I have no idea this would happen. I looked into his green eyes. “Are you sure? I really don’t – ”

He smiled and cut me off, “You don’t see what I see, don’t you?”

“See what?”

“That you’re a really beautiful person. Flaws and all.”

I smiled then shook my head. This situation is so fucking messed up. I bit my lip then replied, voice low. “I just don’t want you making decisions on temporary emotions – ”

“This isn’t temporary.” He said with such intensity in his eyes.

I sighed resignedly. “Let’s just give it a few more days, okay? I still need to…to sort things in my mind.”

“If you don’t feel the same way, you just have to say it.”

My head snapped up and I sat up. My eyes met with his. “It’s not that. It’s just – ”

“I won’t hold it against you. I just want to know so I’ll know what to do. Because I don’t. I don’t know what to do.” He said, his voice overflowing with emotions. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. “That’s the problem. I don’t know, either.” What I heard next was silence. It was one of the loudest silences I’ve ever experienced. This is so complicated. I felt his hand close around my ankle and heard him say,

“I’m sorry. Never mind what I said.” 

I faced him again, seeing his sad eyes. Then he continued, “Forget everything I said.”

“Everything?”

He smiled wistfully. “I don’t want to make this more complicated for you. I’m really sorry. Let’s just…” he breathed in deeply. “Let’s just not make this harder than it already is.”

I can’t think. I don’t know what to do. I have no idea what to say – I want to.

But I can’t.

Then I heard him say, I know I can’t have you.”

My heart broke into a million pieces.


            Part II: 

Waiting is painful. I know that. Forgetting is painful. I know that, too. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. 

I’m having that right now.

I sank lower to the warm tub water. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s right from wrong anymore. My head throbbed and I sighed deeply. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But right this second, it was hard to deny that I’ve fallen for those green eyes of his as well.

So what’s stopping me?

I put a hand to my forehead. Every fucking thing. It’s not right. We don’t have forever. We don’t have happily ever after. We don’t have anything. I looked up to the pristine white ceiling of the bathroom. It’s a relationship doomed before it even started. 

Either way, we won’t have each other.

All the more reason to fight for him.

I was jolted by that train of thought. I straightened my back, sorting my thought and staring at nothing in particular. The voice in my head sounded like my mother. 

It’s a long time since she dictated my decisions even in thought.

I sighed for the millionth time and almost smiled.

Mothers knows best.


           Part III: 

I combed my in front of the mirror as best as I could, to make myself look presentable. To be honest, I have no idea how to open the subject with him. I don’t know what to say. Or even how to act. Just go with the flow. I sighed, eyeing myself in a big white shirt and grey cargo shorts. I pushed the glasses higher up to the bridge of my nose and smiled a little.

Okay, I thought, putting the brush down and going outside the bathroom door. I didn’t bother with the slippers and checked on Dash. He was sleeping in his new spot and after I made sure that he was fine, I slowly went to the direction of the bedroom door. I pursed my lips as I took one last step and started opening the doorknob.

Only someone opened it from the other side.

I was startled a little bit when it opened and the look on his face showed that he hadn’t been expecting me, either.

He changed his clothes already and now he looked at me with deep, green eyes. 

It’s hard not to fall into them.

I smiled a little bit, pleased to see a smile of his own forming on his lips. He said, “I was just going to check on you. But then…” My smile widened. “I was just about to go in as well.” But he didn’t seem to be listening as he took one of my hands and held it, putting his forehead on mine. He said,

“It’s hard to hold back when I hold you like this, Ryne. It’s really hard.” Then he caught my other hand and held it likewise. He sighed, looking down. I did not make a sound as he slowly leaned in, getting closer and closer and finally, his lips captured mine. 

He was gentle and loving. Giving everything, yet expecting nothing in return. He put his hand at the back of my neck and put I put mine on his head and gripped his hair. He backed me slowly to the wall to the side of the doorway and I felt myself stopped by the hard wall. Now, he pulled back an inch and looked in my eyes, his expression surrendering. 

He looked down on the floor and gave a bitter chuckle. “I had no idea I would find you.” He said in a hoarse voice.

I bit my lip as he talked. I never felt like that before – his lips against mine were firm, not demanding and very sweet. I sighed and leaned my head back against the wall. It was everything I wanted and more.

I want more.

I felt his hands rubbing against my cheeks and I looked up. He told me in a still slightly hoarse voice, “And to think I was the one who told you to not make things more complicated.” He shook his head and I couldn’t resist touching his face and his yes looked startled then, the fleck of those green orbs shining.

“Ryne?”

I didn’t bothering answering but stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. I felt him smiling and a drop of tear from his eyes fell to my cheek. I smiled as well, kissing his neck and pulling back to gaze at him. He gave a strangles laugh, put his forehead on mine once again as he faced me, and never taking his eyes off me. Then he said the three words that I realized I’ve been waiting for a long time.

              “I love you.”